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Best Of News Real Estate The Grove

American Girls For Sale

Kaya!Our favorite mall to Angeleno-gawk, The Grove, is planning to open an American Girl® retail branch in 2006, just the 3rd in the country. And these ain’t your mothers’ dolls. “Molly McIntire® is a lively, lovable schemer and dreamer growing up in 1944. The world is at war, and she misses her father who is overseas caring for wounded soldiers … ” So begins the backstory of Molly, one of the 10 “characters” from the high-end doll phenomenon owned by Mattel. You see, the American Girl® characters come from a wide range of “American” experiences across the 200+ years of our nation. There’s Kaya, the Native American in 1764; Addy, the escaped slave in 1864; Kit, the Midwesterner in the Great Depression, among others. See, it’s progressive American history (accessories not included). Howard Zinn must have the whole set of these dollies. To further give each character a sense of era, there are all sorts of props that go with each.

So let’s have a look at the merch. $84 is the base price for any of the dolls. So you’re already in for a Benjamin just to get started with this stuff. And that’s so just the beginning. This is a whole culture you are buying into. Using at that “lively, lovable schemer and dreamer” Molly, as an example, let’s look at the add-ons. Of course you have to have Molly’s Beach Chair ($20), Molly’s 1944 swimsuit ($24), Molly’s camping equipment ($18), Molly’s Dude Ranch Outfit ($24). And if Molly gets tired of standing, there’s Molly’s Chrome Table and Chairs ($65). The best part is that there is an accompanying series of books for each character that chronicals the adventures of your doll for you. There are over 20 (!) “Molly” books alone (such page-turners as “Molly Learns a Lesson” and “Molly’s Surprise”). Why have your girls imagine their own adventures for their dolls when Mattel can write them out and sell them to you?

Can’t you just see the trophy wives and their spoiled brats lined up at The Grove now? While you’re there snarking on them, grab some enchiladas at Loteria Grill and hoist a pitcher to American history and capitalism. Mainly the latter.

Categories
Music

I&I DubTruck, Hottie DJ Co-SubHeadline Block Party

Rare is the occasion when you can find not one but two of my favorite local djs at the same venue and contribute to a worthy cause at the same time. And yet this Saturday at the First Street Arts Colony, you can do just that.

reggae truckAurelito and Shakespeare will be bringing the mobile sound system to the masses alongside hottie dj herself. The rest of the billing is a veritable laundry list of underground hip-hoppers, djs and rockers including members of ozomatli, the rebirth, very be careful, ammoncontact, daedelus and dublab. Get your tickets now before the price goes up $5. I will be busy losing my money in Las Vegas with a full mustache* in tow, so if anybody attends I will need to know if this event is any good.

Afterward if your craving for underground art and the hard-partying lifestyle in gritty downtown isn’t fully sated, head over to the swindle magazine #3 release party a few blocks away. I really don’t have any information other than this flyer, but shep fairey is known to throw a decent party.

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Categories
News

Experts: Deadly LA Quake May or May Not Kill You and Everyone You Love

holy fuck we’re all going to dieA recently-discovered fault running beneath downtown LA could kill up to 18,000 people if it ruptured in a major earthquake, geologists said Wednesday.

Did you just crap your pants? Let’s put things in perspective:

1) The Puente Hills fault has caused a mere four known quakes of magnitude 7.2 to 7.5 in the past 11,000 years. That’s about one Big One every 3,000 years. Yawn.
2) LA County’s total population is 9.8 Million. So in a worst-case scenario we’re only losing 0.18% fellow Angelenos. I like those odds.
3) High-end estimates assume the quake occurs on a weekday afternoon, when downtown population is at its peak. This limits the death window to about 30 business hours a week. Wake me when it’s over.
4) We can’t get enough of lesbian earthquake expert, Kate Hutton, either. Bring it on.

In related news the nation remains at Yellow Alert: Significant Risk of Terrorist Attacks.

Check out the latest tremors and the NBC Seismocam.