Cher: the biggest press event ever
Cher: I’m still waiting for my Kathy Griffin moment
Cher: I couldn’t win a god damned thing at the charity auction
Cher: WHERE MY GAYS AT???!!!!
CherCon. 10,000 square feet of wall-to-wall Cher…Woodland Hills…a Saturday afternoon. I arrive with our star intern Shane and report to the media check in. Shane is sporting a new tie and I am donning my best Lois Lane attire. As members of the press, we are shuffled off to a holding area. I recognize some of my peers from the White House Press Corps. Anne Kornblut from the NY Times, Christopher Cooper from the Wall St. Journal and Nedra Pickler from AP are all there. This is going to be big. When I spy Liz Smith from the NY Post I get a sinking feeling we might be scooped. Shane and I are hard at work trying to procure a wireless signal to no avail. We manage to break into the ELAYNHUNTCORRECTIONALFACILITY wireless account but service is sporadic and corrupted. Inmates are in our IM. The messages start flying. E.L. Woody strolls in with the TMZ guys and they ask to borrow a pen. Hmph.
I’ve worked with the media coordinator before. He’s generally in charge at the James S. Brady Media Briefing Room in the White House. I try to catch his eye but he keeps telling us to sit tight. So far he’s only come to personally escort reporters from LOGO TV in. I start to get antsy. We’re going to get scooped. We’re going to get scooped. My computer keeps saying SHAKE YA ASS! WATCH YA SELF!