6.45pm. Magnanimous (n, mag naa nuh muhss). From the Latin for “Great-spirited”, normally defined as “generous, appreciative”, though another synonym is “DF”. In a typically seasonally appropriate gesture, DF hereby supplies an illustrative object lesson. DF is thankful, bitches. Oh, yes. DF is thankful for everything from Axe Body Spray to Zatarain’s Fish-Fri. Exempli gratia: DF is thankful for the tact exhibited by the personnel at the nearby Qik-Stop (sic) Market, who never point out how inebriated he already is when stopping by for the night’s umpteenth booze purchase. DF is thankful for the local police precinct’s underenforcement of prohibitions on public urination. DF is thankful for Tommy’s lax condiments policy, which allows him to stockpile enough gratis ketchup packets to provide nourishment for days, even weeks.
7.11pm. Most self-evidently, though, DF is thankful for derby. It soothes him, it refreshes his soul. Yea, though DF may walk through the valley of the shadow of death (i.e., find himself again in the east Hollywood jail for soliciting five-dollar HJs from chunky Malaysian streetwalkers), he shall fear no evil, for derby is with him.
7.43pm. More specifically, DF is thankful for tonite’s LADD bout ’tween the Tough Cookies and the Swarm. If there’s a more mouth-watering matchup, DF hasn’t yet seen it. Both teams are tied for first in the league, both teams are undefeated in 2009, both teams are mortal locks to re-compete in December’s Championship Bout. Tonight’s titular tussle is thus titantic but also tantalizing, as it affords los aficionados de la derby a sneak preview of the carnage that will surely be forthcoming in the title match. The bout’s outcome (boutcome?) may not be strictly relevant to the championship, but it affords strategic possiblities galore, with the need for momentum, and the desire to take psychological advantage, and the possibilities for strategic gameswomanship, and what have you. It’s on, beyatches. Fully.
